Is Sex 90% Mental?

Did you ever wonder why sex can be great one day, really great (!) another day, so-so (ok, I’ll take it) another day, and what’s happening to me another day?!

My juju estimation is that sexual satisfaction #reachinganorgasm, is 90% mental, for both males and females.  Relaxation and chemistry can provide some really great romps in the hay.  Guys and gals this is why the drive home, or a walk with the dog, is so important after a long day of work.  And there’s a reason why foreplay can be one small gesture, and end with an  unexpected sexcapade.

Now, I normally don’t speak of intimate details with my girlfriends, this I can assure you, but a few years ago a friend called me early one morning.  I was shocked and happy because she was so over heals in lust for this man that I rarely heard from her because she so “tied up”, and probably literally. 🙂  Go girlie!!  Oh noooo, maybe they broke up!?   Well the evening before, she & he had the smooth jams on and everything was going all too well when suddenly he just went limp…how embarrassing for both of them.  She thought it was something she did, and he sheepishly apologized, said it was nothing she did, and went home for the evening.

This guy had so much on his mind, including stress from being newly divorced and a new job,  and quite frankly a little intimidated by being with what he thought was the girl of his dreams….. and by the way she still is!   The next day they got together and discussed what had happened:  He had so many things on his mind and was a little bit nervous about being with someone new that he simply “deflated”,…as he stated. 🙂   This never happened to him before and never happened to them again, as far as I know.

I guess the takeaway here is don’t be concerned if you’re in a sexcapade slump, this happens at every age.  And if you’ve been single for awhile, and aren’t really feeling it, don’t worry you’ll get your juju back when your “minding is right” and you’re chemistry ignites with your person.

Note:  for people that have gone through sexual trauma in their lives, I highly recommend consulting a professional sex therapist.